Cancer Holidays - Week 18 - Hello 2015, Bye Bye Tumour!

As you've guessed it surgery was successful but before we get there, let's back up to pre-surgery life. Last weekend I was lying in bed and heard that part of the canal was about to be opened for skating - so thinking this might be my only skating opportunity this year, I declared that we had to go skating that night - and we did!

This is me eating a Beaver Tail - not exactly part of the cancer diet but oh well. 

Also, just on a side note, Dom always does up my skates when we get to the canal, no matter how cold it is - what a guy! - as I was sitting there while his fingers were practically falling off tightening my laces, I was thinking - this is why I want to marry this guy, because he does up my skates in -20 degree weather and never complains.  I then do some test glides while he does his own and then he re-adjusts mine if I need it...need I say more?

Now cancer talk.

The surgery was a day surgery and despite the fact that I've had two major surgeries previously, I've never experienced 'day surgery' before. It was a bit weird. First, we didn't know what time my surgery would be at until the afternoon before - I had to call Monfort to find out the time (I had my surgery at Monfort because Dr. Beaulieu was the surgeon I was referred to way back in August when I first found the lump - apparently once you get a surgeon, you keep them even if they are at a different hospital). So we found out it was scheduled for 12:40 and we were to arrive at the hospital 2 hours ahead of time. My mom, Dom and I bundled up and headed to the hospital thinking we were going to hang out for 2 hours but that wasn't the case, as soon as I checked in a nurse came out to get me - and I could only take a limited number of items with me - so I opted for my iPod and book - and left the rest of my supplies to pass 2 hours with Dom and my Mom. The nurse told them that the earliest I'd be ready was 4:30 pm so since the hospital is only a 5 minute drive from home, they went home. 

I hung out on my own, listening to Beck's new album (love it by the way) and trying to eavesdrop on what was going on around me but it was tough because 90% of it was of course in French. There was a girl (I mean like my age kind of girl) a few beds down who was joking around with the orderlies and seemed to be having quite a fun time (I'm going to get back to her later on). I was honestly very relaxed - this was going to be an easy surgery compared to the other two I've had.

The anaesthesiologist and Dr. Bealieu came to see me before the surgery for a brief chat and then this really nice orderlie came and got me for surgery. If any of you reading this have ever had surgery under general anaesthetic, it is really weird because its not like going to sleep where even though you are sleeping you have an awareness that time has past - when you are knocked out it feels like you only just closed your eyes but then someone wakes you up and all of these hours have past by. So strange. 

The tumour was indeed the size of a pea as I guessed - it showed up that way on the MRI and was confirmed during surgery. Dr. Beaulieu (my surgeon) took about a finger width of tissue around the tumour and also removed that pesky growing lymph node from my armpit. Apparently Dr. Beaulieu wasn't able to remove any additional lymph nodes because the rest of them were behind two major nerves that run down my arm and she didn't want to risk damaging the nerves. Good decision Doc. 

The tumour, tissue and lymph node have been sent to be tested - the tumour to see if its still alive, the tissue to make sure its not cancerous, the lymph node to see if its cancerous and to retest everything for the 'type' of breast cancer. That's right, the type can change - Dr. Craig said he's had a few patients where this has happened. One reason is that the initial biopsy they do for the cancer diagnosis is just a sampling of the tumour and apparently some tumours can be made up of different sub-types of cancer. Also, there is a 'theory' that diet changes and supplements can actually alter the type of cancer. So, this matters because Triple Negative cancer (the one I have) doesn't have any other treatment options than what I am going through whereas the other two sub-types of breast cancer (ER+ and HER+) do have additional treatments after chemo, radiation and surgery.

For day surgery you are in recovery for an hour then sent back to where you started for another two hours. In recovery, I had two really nice middle-aged French nurses who took care of me (they sort of reminded me of elves but that might have been because I was stoned from the meds)  - they fished out my fashion toque out of my clothes bag and put it on me - they even said, someone said you had a nice hat in this bag! Ha! One point for the fashion toque. They also wrapped this huge tensor bandage around my torso - which is to keep swelling down and everything in place.The nurses told me they were the best at wrapping the tensor bandages and indeed they were quick and it was comfortable - at first I was thinking, its not rocket science, its a tensor bandage but now that we have unwrapped and wrapped this thing so many times this week I can tell you that they are the best at the tensor bandage. They could run tensor bandage circles around all of us.

Here's a good illustration of the drain - mine's in my armpit and my abs do not look like this. I think this is a guy actually but nevermind, you get the idea:

Also at my pre-op appointment, they gave me this little bag to carry around the drain bulb in - I didn't think I'd use it but I do everyday! Here it is hanging on the side of my waist:

I get the drain out once it starts draining less than 20 cc for two consecutive days but I'm not there yet so I've got this friend for at least a few more days. 

Getting back to surgery day...

Once I was back to the place where I started, I got a few more pain meds however the only real pain I was feeling was nerve pain from my elbow to my hand - like the way it feels when you hit your funny bone but times that by five and it doesn't go away. Dr. Beaulieu came to talk to me about the surgery - and a little point of digression here - I have just finished surgery and am doped up, this is not the opportune time to go over the fine details of the surgery with your patient but apparently this is normal - anyway, she told me the details that I've already talked about and that she had to cut a small nerve in my arm because the lymph node was so huge there was no way to take it out without cutting this nerve. I think it might be my axillary nerve which according to the world wide web is a small nerve in your arm. Dr. Beaulieu also said that I might lose feeling in the back of my arm because of this. I told her about the funny bone feeling in my arm and she seemed genuinely perplexed. I go back to see her on Monday next week so I'm looking forward to having a conversation with her when I'm not doped up.

Apparently while all of this was going on, Dom and my Mom had returned to the hospital around 3:30 pm to find out my surgery started 40 minutes late and that I was still in surgery. Around 5:30 pm Dom finally called the nurses desk to find out my status. I was doing fine but having a hard time sitting up without feeling sick so it was a slow progression and yet entertaining to lie there and listen to the other patients get checked out and discharged. This time there were more English patients (not as good looking as the guy in that movie) than French patients so the eavesdropping was much more interesting. There was an old guy who the nurses were trying to organize a ride with his wife and another lady they were trying to organize a ride with her husband and she kept squawking saying 'my husband doesn't have a cell phone how are we going to know he's here.' And getting back to the girl that was joking with the orderlies - she was right beside me in recovery and they let her husband come in and she started bawling. Dom told me afterwards that there was a big group of her family out in the waiting room and that she had a mastectomy - she sure was putting on a brave face before surgery. But after a good cry, she bucked up and was soon discharged. That left me - I was still having a problem with nausea so I was slowly sitting up a few inches at a time. The place was dark except for my bed so they let Dom come in and hang out with me. Well we shut the day surgery ward down - it was 7:20 pm by the time we left - but by that time I was feeling good and always enjoy a good wheel around hospital hallways in a wheelchair. 

So this past week has flown by - its hard to believe its already been a week. I have nursing care that comes by every two days to change my dressings and check on the drain. My Mom and Dom were in charge of emptying the drain,measuring and recording the liquid (gross) and tensoring me back up when I change - although now I've got good enough arm movement to do the tensor bandage myself but I still haven't figured out how to do it so that when I get to the end its at the front and not the back to pin it in place. 

We did have to make a trip to the ER on Saturday night because I have had some swelling in my arm and I was super paranoid about getting lymphedema. So on Saturday night Dom's band had a show so he dropped my Mom and I off at Monfort on his way to the show. I played the cancer card and so was a priority so we were only there a few hours. Bonnie and Guy (Bill's sister and husband) picked us up and drove us home but not before we had to drive to the bar because Dom had my house keys (this isn't the first time this has happened - I lock myself out of my house every few months). 

Getting back to the ER trip,apparently, the ER doctor talked to the surgeon that was on-call and found out its too early for my to get lymphedema - I'm guessing because I still have this drain in that drains the fluid out of my arm - and the ER doctor thought it was 'seroma' - basically a collection of fluid. Well I was wrong about the lymphedema and by Sunday we figured out the ER doctor was probably wrong too because what we think it was, was my drain was blocked. Blocked with what you ask? The grossest long piece of tissue and a blood clot - if you want to see the photo follow this link but warning - this is waaaaaaaay grosser than my PICC line removal. 

Gross drain stuff - click here 

That is what Dom 'milked' out of my drain last night, if you were brave enough to look at it - that's right, they call it 'milking'. Basically he repeatedly squeezes the tube running down to a collection bulb working the tissue and blood clot. Here's what the bulb looks like:



It was so gross I had to yell for my Mom last night to get out of bed and come look at it because I knew she'd want to see it - she kept saying all week "well this is interesting" every time she emptied the drain - meanwhile I'm practically gagging and repeatedly saying "this is so gross". While Dom was milking my drain I joked and said "I bet you didn't think you'd be doing this when we had our first date three years ago" his response was "if this isn't love, I don't know what is." He's right - between milking my drain and lacing my skates, its true love.

After the milking and the drain is emptied it has to be squeezed while the lid goes back on so that the bulb is deflated creating suction - its very much like syphoning beer - and I make this comparison because Dom just finished his first batch of homemade beer and I had to help him with the syphoning. Dom doesn't agree with this analogy. 

The only other complication I've had is this thing called 'cording' or axillary web syndrome (google it if you're interested). Apparently it can happen after you've had lymph nodes removed and no one really knows what it is but it basically limits your arm movements if you let it. Its painful - its like I have a cord that runs from my armpit to my elbow and every time I stretch my arm out or up it feels like its pulling on this cord. I have a very high pain tolerance - I stopped taking the narcotics they gave me and switched to Tylenol the day after surgery and haven't taken a Tylenol for days - but I can see how this would limit people's range of motion in their arm. I've been diligently doing my exercises every few hours which is super painful but I am determined to make sure this is going to be fixed. I had a massage on Monday which helped but by yesterday I felt like I was starting from scratch but I do go see Hippie Bruce on Friday so hoping maybe acupuncture might help. 

Speaking of which, I saw Hippie Bruce this past Friday a few days after surgery and we discussed his musical career because as I said in my last post Hippie Bruce is a Juno winner - well the band he is in now is not the most popular band he's been in - he was also in Godspeed You! Black Emperor - they won a Polaris music prize - and their song is featured in the movie 28 Days Later. When I told Dom this, I said Hippie Bruce is in another band but I doubt you've heard of it because I think its a Christian rock band Godspeed something...and Dom was like Godspeed You! Black Emperor no way! I told Hippie Bruce this story on Friday and he thought it was super funny that I thought he was a Christian rocker. 

On Sunday it was such a nice day we went back to the canal for a walk (I'm not nearly a good enough skater to skate around 5 days after surgery with a drain). Dom skated and my Mom and I walked. We stopped again for a Beaver Tail (shhh don't tell Joan Lunden). Here's Mom and Dom:

We dropped my Mom off at the bus station this morning - it was great to have her around - vacuuming, doing the laundry, drain emptying and just hanging out.  

And I think that's it. I'm back on my own with Fat May and Lola for company. I'm keeping an eye on Fat May because she's picked up her tradition of eating poop-sicles in the backyard - that's right she eats her frozen poop - not all of it, just a taste. I caught her in the act yesterday during the day and last night it was apparently too cold to secretly eat one in the backyard so she actually brought a poop-sicle in the house and Mom's sharp eyes spotted it as soon as she dropped it on the rug. Did I mention that Fat May's personal hygiene and habits are a bit less desirable? Well if not, here's your warning. You might want to think twice about petting her when you visit. I'm not sure what is grosser - poop-sicles or this drain, I should take a vote. 

A few shout outs to people - Eva and Lesley have both brought me food since my last post and both were delicious. I got a great little spa package from the gang at work as well as another gift card to Kardish Health Food Store which is where I buy most of my supplements and any specialty foods. Ann is coming over tonight to bring us dinner - we are lucky people!

I have a pile of appointments next week - to find out the results of my surgery with Dr. Beaulieu; with Dr. Dent (aspergers) to touch base about my treatment plan; Dr. Caudrelier to go over radiation and Dr. Craig to go over my supplements, throw in acupuncture and massage and its a busy time! This cancer thing is a full time job. 

Oh and since I am keeping score, its Melanie 2; Cancer 0!


 

Cancer Holidays - Weeks 16 and 17 - The Knards are making it official!

That's right - in case you haven't heard, us crazy kids are engaged! It was maybe a surprise to most people since Dom and I have been together for a few years and 'around the block' so to speak when it comes to long-term relationships but it wasn't to me. A few months ago I figured out that it did matter to me that Dom and I weren't married - yes the mortgage, spinal cord surgery, this cancer journey and two dogs weren't enough - I can't really explain it, I just figured it out a few months ago. One of the biggest 'cancer instructions' in all of the books I've read is to not keep important thoughts or feelings to yourself so a few months ago, I plopped down on the couch beside Dom and told him I wanted to get married and the rest is history so to speak. 

Well here's the history because people always want to know 'how it happened' but I have to preface this story with a notation - Dom isn't the best gift-buyer. Sometimes he's right on the mark and sometimes he's not. My friends who know the story about my skates two years ago know what I'm talking about. I got a raclette for Christmas, not skates. If you haven't heard that story, ask me and I'll tell you all about it. Okay so here's this story: it was Christmas morning and we were opening gifts - well small gifts because we decided to only do stocking stuffers for each other. I got to almost the end of my stocking and there was a neatly wrapped box and inside was a pair of sheep skin insoles for my winter boots! That was the first and only moment I thought 'is this a ring?'. The moment passed and the last thing that was in my stocking was a can of Tetley green tea. This is funny because, as you know, I have received a lot of tea as gifts (all much appreciated!) but Tetley is probably my least favourite and the week before Christmas I had just finished working through a container of Tetley green tea along with a week of complaining to Dom about how I do not like Tetley tea (my biggest annoyance is that the tea bags do not have strings on them, also their round shape makes them float rather than sink which makes steeping less effective, the bags are never good for more than one cup....I could go on). So, getting back to the tea in the stocking, my first thought as I pulled out the can of Tetley tea was 'Dom is the worst gift buyer ever' - that was in my head, not out loud. I said oh thanks more tea in that voice that doesn't exactly convey gratitude and Dom played it well - he said 'its actually pretty good, open it and smell it'. I did and inside was a ring box. That's it. Well played Dom, well played. 

 Our holidays were good - Narissa, Drew and my nephews Devin and Sam came up for New Years. We went to the Children's Museum which was the highlight of the boys' visit I'm sure. Here's a few pictures of us:

Sam is not in these photos because he was way too busy. 

For New Year's Eve we went to Lesley's place for a few hours - it was a great party equipped with a photo wall - even with props. 

I don't know why Dom has such a weird look on his face - and his hat is backwards, it actually supposed to be black. As you can see my sign says "Good Riddance 2014' which is somewhat appropriate for me given this whole cancer thing. 

Speaking of which...let's get to the cancer thing. 

I had an MRI on Tuesday so that my surgeon - Dr. Beaulieu - has a good idea of where we're at for surgery next week (surgery is on Tuesday January 13). I also had a pre-op appointment on Wednesday to hear about the surgery - I even got a "Breast Surgery" book. Dr. Beaulieu's office called me Wednesday to tell me that based on the MRI, my surgery will be a partial mastectomy and axillary lymph node dissection. The partial mastectomy is basically a lumpectomy with extra tissue surrounding the tumour. I learned that I have to have a drain put in my armpit for a few days after my surgery (gross) to help drain the lymph fluid - if you don't know what the lymph system does, it basically moves fluid around your body including immune system cells like white blood cells that fight infection. Anyway, I've watched a few lectures on YouTube about the lymph system so that I understand what its all about and its basically vital to your body (you'd die in a few hours if it ever failed). After surgery since some of my lymph nodes have been removed, I'm at risk of lymphedema in my arm because I'll be missing parts of my lymph system that drains fluid from my arm. So, I've got exercises to do and have to continue with them pretty much for the rest of my life to ensure I don't get lymphedema. 

By the way, over the past 5 weeks since my last chemo treatment my tumour has not changed at all, not one bit, its still about the size of a pea. However, about a week after my last chemo treatment my lymph node started swelling and becoming sore. This has continued for the past few weeks - my actual armpit is swollen - not noticeable to you but to me it is. An axillary lymph node dissection is removal of this lymph node as well as others in my armpit. They will test the tumour again to see how much of it is still alive and each lymph node to see which ones are infected with cancer. The hope is that the tumour is dead (this is apparently rare) and that the only lymph node infected is the one that's currently swollen.

I have been a bit worried about this swelling lymph node over the holidays and just finished reading this book called Anti-Cancer (I highly recommend this book, its excellent). In this book, the author explains that primary tumours (the first tumour to grow) releases this chemical called angiostatin which inhibits - or controls - the growth of the secondary tumours - sort of like the tumour's kids. So Parent Tumour grows enough that cancer cells break off and go somewhere else in the body - the first spot from a breast tumour is usually a lymph node because its the closest - and Kid Tumour starts to grow. But Parent Tumour releases the angiostatin so that Kid Tumour doesn't grow crazy out of control. This is why sometimes you might hear that people get cancer removed and then after surgery a tumour pops up somewhere else and grows fast. This is because the Kid Tumour was there (but undetectable) and growing slowly because Parent Tumour was holding it back but when Parent Tumour is gone, Kid Tumour goes crazy. What's that saying? When the cat is away, the mice will play?

My theory is that this is what has happened to me - which is why my Parent Tumour hasn't grown at all since chemo - my theory is that my Parent Tumour is dead and so my Kid Tumour in my lymph node is having a party and growing. Little does Kid Tumour know but the party is over on Tuesday. I shared this theory with Dr. Craig and he said that he has heard about this happening but that of course, we won't know until surgery and the tumours are tested. If I'm right, I'm going to med school. Just kidding, I'm not smart enough.

I had acupuncture today - Hippie Bruce worked again on my hot flashes (which continue at night - I guess you call them night sweats) and put on a few of those bandaid/needle things on my arms to help with my lymph node drainage. I saw Dr. Craig in the waiting room after acupuncture and he told me that Hippie Bruce is also a Juno-award winner! Whoa! I told Dr. Craig that was for sure going in this blog. So Hippie Bruce is part of a band called Esmerine that won a Juno last year. He also has an office in Wakefield if anyone is looking to try out acupuncture. 

So I think that's it. I've had loads of energy the past few weeks, I've been out shovelling every day (I think the neighbours might think I'm a bit obsessed), doing yoga, walking on the treadmill - oh and watching this show called The Big C - its a comedy about a women who has stage 4 melanoma so I decided its my show to watch while I'm on the treadmill. I like the irony. 

Oh and hair growth - the more I wear my wig, the more it fits to my head and so its much more comfortable however since I am finished chemo, my hair should be growing back but I haven't really noticed anything. So I googled it. The consensus is that about 3-4 weeks after chemo your hair should start growing back starting with a 'fuzz' and then a few weeks after that fine hair. I told Dom this one night very discouraged because I have not noticed any fuzz so Dom broke out the flashlight app on his phone and examined my head and low and behold - fuzz! Its not much but now I can see it in the mirror if I look closely but ladies, I've got a long way to go. 

And of course Joan Lunden - she had a tough time in December with the Red Death chemo treatments (thats the kind I started chemo with) - but it seems like she's bounced back with Kryptonite shots like I had and blood transfusions (I didn't need any of those). This week she started radiation so she's about a month ahead of me - I'll keep you posted on her progress. 
 
I will try to post something next week post-surgery, even if its just a quick one as long as my arm is in good working condition - or maybe I'll dictate my blog to my Mom and she can type it (she's coming up on Sunday to stay for a while). Thanks again to everyone who sent a Christmas card, brought food over the holidays or who will do so in the next few weeks. I can't explain how great it is to get these meals. Its so nice having a break from cooking!

Wish me luck!