Cancer Holidays - Week 25 and 26 - Debut of the "new do"

Sticking with the tried and true hockey analogy, I am officially in the last few minutes of the third period in this cancer game. I've got four more radiation treatments to go - I've managed to get 24 of these suckers done!

So far, it is going really well. I've had my first two boosters and have four more to go. This just means that I'm getting radiation in a more of a focused area - around where my tumour used to be. The radiation machine makes a few different noises too but I'm not sure what that is. I mentioned it to Lyann today (one of the nurses) and she said she didn't know either - since they aren't in the room, they can't hear the machine. She did assure me that they test the machine everday so its not broken or anything like that (phew). I am continuing to work on my tan - kidding - working on my sunburn. Imagine someone going to a topless beach for the first time except they've only got half of their shirt off - that's what I look like right now. You can clearly see the red line in the middle of my chest. It doesn't really hurt - my skin is a bit tender, just like when you get a burn but I've had much worse. I had my last appointment with Dr. Caudrelier today - I won't see him again for six months. He thought I was doing well and didn't see a need to prescribe me any special cream for my chest. I do use one that they recommended twice a day but its just this cream off the shelf at the drugstore - nothing special - except that its only got about six ingredients which is way less than most moisturizing cream. In fact, Lyann says she uses it and uses it on her kids too. In case you are wondering, its called Glaxal.

Other than that, I see Dr. Craig (naturopathic doctor) and Dr. Dent (oncologist) next week to find out what's next so stay tuned and I'll let you know what's what. 

Oh one new thing is that I joined a new study for people who have recently finished treatment for breast cancer - its for group therapy - there was a choice between individual therapy or group therapy but after a bit of thought I chose group therapy. I know, I know I'm breaking that rule again about hanging out with people who have cancer but technically these people are like me and don't really have cancer anymore. The study is to look at different techniques of therapy to help people with the 'fear of recurrence.' I figured this was something good to do for myself because as the radiation countdown number on the chalkboard in the kitchen gets smaller my anxiety gets greater - basically just about not going to the hospital on a regular basis, what I do when this is all over - all of the things that Joan Lunden talked about in her video that I posted in my last post. The therapy will run for six weeks so I'm looking forward to it and they have counselling services at the Cancer Centre that I can also take advantage of if I think I might need it. 

I'm still going to the gym everyday - some days I really giv'er but other days I take it easy. Its very important for me to keep up on the exercise because its hugely influential on the chances of recurrence - Dr. Craig tells me everytime I see him that exercise can reduce my chance of recurrence by 40 to 60% - that's a lot. Just for a little more incentive to go to the gym I posted this article that I got from my Uncle Rick back in the fall right above the gym's class schedule as a reminder and motivator. Here's what it looks like:

I always imagine that I look like that chick in the picture in the newspaper article - I don't - although I am probably just as skinny, I don't have long blonde hair. 

How's that for a segway? Let's get to my hair. It continues to grow and I am at the point that I just don't wear my wigs anymore. Actually some lady today at the grocery store said she loved my haircut! I told her thank you without going into any detail. So, without further ado here is my new hair:

This is us at the Fox and Feather this past weekend with my cousin Carlie and Brian. They were here this weekend for a huge hockey tournament. Brian has been the coach of a team with kids that have special needs for the past nine years (good job Brian) and they invited us to join their teams and the families for their tournament dinner. Here's the four of us:

We had a great weekend with these two. It was so good to see some family since we haven't been home since the summer I was going into Fink withdrawal! 

Okay back to me and my hair - how much do you love my hair? I always thought that I had a big forehead - but this proves that I don't. I also am surprised at how well I can pull off this super short hair, I never would have thought...but I do hate how gray it is. Its really gray and I'm not a fan of the colour but oh well, better than a bald head I guess.

Some folks have asked if I am going to keep it short but its too early to say. Despite this I know that it will be short no matter what I do for at least the next year or so. Its going to take a while to get back to this:

The past week and a half I've basically kept the same schedule, gym, radiation, chores, massage, acupuncture and errands (repeat) - a few Sundays ago we went to Mary Ellen and Rob's for Sunday dinner which was great and last night we were at Andrew and Laurel's for dinner. Delicious pork tenderloin and as usual, entertainment from little Jonah and Cosmo the dog. Jonah does this funny 'angry baby' thing - he's been doing it for a while now but loves doing it to Dom because Dom gives him such a dramatic reaction to it. I couldn't resist posting a video of Jonah and his 'angry baby' impersonation that he was doing at our Curling Banquet last month: 

As you can hear, we are all very entertained by Jonah and his 'angry baby.'

We decided that we are going to go out for dinner on Monday night next week to celebrate the end of my radiation. Andrew asked me last night where we are going to go and I told him I don't care, all I want is a huge plate of nachos and a giant glass of red wine. So today Dom took the initiative to investigate where the best nachos are in Ottawa (he even asked the question on an Ottawa Senators message board) and here are the results (in case you are in need of great nachos one night):

Restaurant	Style of nachos	Where	Urbanspoon score
Big Rig	N/A	2750 Iris St	61%
Mill Street	N/A	555 Wellington St	68%
Senate	N/A	33 Clarence St	90%
Lone Star	N/A	1211 Lemieux St	76%
Pub Italia	N/A	434 Preston St	75%
Bowman's Bar & Grill	One layer authentic style	1170 Carling Ave	86%
Agave	One layer authentic style	1331 Wellington West	86%
Sir John A	N/A	284 Elgin St	80%
Quinn’s	N/A	1070 Bank St	94%
El Camino	N/A	380 Elgin St	85%
Monkey Joe's	Pile up of nacho stuff	1265 Carling Ave	60%
Local Lansdowne	N/A	825 Exhibition Way	75%
Ahora’s	N/A	307 Dalhousie St	90%

A few of you have asked about a wedding date so I'll answer the question here too, no we do not have a wedding date. We actually haven't thought about it much - we need to pay off our cancer debt first. Yes, the cancer debt - and no I'm not hinting for money so don't start sending me cheques but we have accumulated some debt with this whole cancer thing. Don't get me wrong, we weren't paying for chemo or any of the standard cancer treatments but I did go down to a reduced pay for two months before my disability kicked in (the reduced pay is sort of like the City's own short term disability) and our benefits cover some of the expenses from massage, acupuncture and naturopathic doctor but that runs out pretty fast when you are having massage and acupuncture once a week. Plus, the cost of the supplements that I've been taking for the last 8 months are not cheap. So all of this explanation is just me explaining that when you get sick with something serious that is long term, it is expensive no matter how good your benefits are and I am a lucky one who has good benefits and also has a partner in crime that has benefits and a decent paying job. Plus our foundation repairs, window well repairs and new furnace didn't help the bank account this past fall. So all in all, I can see how someone who isn't as lucky as me can really accumulate debt when you get sick. 

So no wedding until the cancer debt is paid off but also no wedding until I've managed to get back to regular life again. I figure we'll start planning something when I've gotten bored of regular life. Right now, I feel like I am embarking on another big transition - going from cancer patient back to regular Melanie except that I am not the same as I was before but not quite sure how I am different... You know you hear, read and see a lot about cancer being the 'best thing' that happens to a person and people who are survivors and are really proud of having beaten the disease but I don't feel like that - at least not yet. I don't think cancer was the best thing that has happened to me, in fact with my two previous spinal cord surgeries I feel like I already had a good appreciation for my good health, the fact that I didn't have any major side effects or complications from those surgeries like being paralyzed or something devastating like that. I also already really appreciated the people around me - Dom, my parents and family, my friends - I didn't need cancer to remind me that I was a lucky person. So while some people say that cancer opened their eyes to this, it didn't for me - maybe it made those elements of my life a bit brighter but as my Dad said when he was down, 'I thought you were done with health stuff after your last [spinal cord] surgery' - my thoughts exactly. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter nor am I complaining. In fact, I don't feel like 'why me' and I never really did - I just don't feel like this cancer thing was something that if I could turn back the clock I would do again - nope, if I could turn the clock back to August 13th I would not go to the doctor the next day to find out I had cancer. But here I am with no ability to turn the clock back (if you know how to do this, let me in on the secret) and just plugging along with life. 

Its hard to believe its almost been 8 months since I started treatment and in May it'll be a year since I found the tumour. When I think of it like that, it doesn't seem too bad seeing as I plan living until I am at least 95, just like Nanny Knight - one year is nothing compared to the next 58 years I've got to go!

And since we are talking about looking forward to the future, I am really, really looking forward to Easter weekend - we are going home (what I call home, Ingersoll) to spend Easter with the Finks (my mom's side of the family), my Dad and Linda, my friends Laurel and Brian, Becky and Erin and we'll visit with Nanny Knight too! I cannot wait to see everyone because it has been way too long and I have gotten so many great emails, text messages and phone calls from my family I just don't know what I would have done without them through all of this. I am a lucky gal when it comes to these people - no one could ask for a better family and close friends. Just take a look at the side bar on this blog and they are all there - I love all of them!

So happy spring - if we can actually call this spring - but spring will come just like it always does and before you know it, it will be summer and we'll complain that its too hot! 




 

Cancer Holidays - Weeks 23 and 24 - Spring is in the air!

Can you feel it? That's spring right around the corner. Its hard to believe when I started these cancer holidays it was the summer, then it was the fall, then it was winter and now its almost spring! Nothing is nicer than the sun shining down! Even Lola needs sunglasses. 

So, radiation has been going well. I am starting to get a bit of a sunburn - its the kind of pinky you get when you've noticed you've been in the sun a bit too long and then you get out of the sun so you don't get burned and the next day you don't have a burn...except mine doesn't go away. So I am hoping that it doesn't get any worse. Other than that I don't have any other complaints. Maybe with the sunburn I'll start to get a bit fatigued - we'll see. 

I did see Dr. Caudrelier this week - not much news there except that I've got one extra session of radiation tacked on to the end - so instead of 28 sessions I'll have 29. I'll be getting 23 regular treatments (to my chest and back of my shoulder) and then after 23 I'll have six 'boosters' which are targeted treatments right at my incision site. So that will take me to March 30th. You are probably wondering - what's next? Well you'll have to wait and find out, I have an appointment with Dr. Dent on March 31 to touch base and figure out what's what. 

Also, an update on the tumour lab results - this first bit took me a bit to figure out and then once I did, digest it all. So, the tumour cells that they removed are graded out of a score of 9. 0 is 'normal' and 9 is like 'super freaky'. They classify them 1 to 3 (the closest to normal cells), 4 to 6, 7 to 9 (the furthest away from normal cells). Mine scored and 8/9 - that's right - in the 'super freaky' category. I keep thinking of that song Super Freak. Anyway, that's not really good news - but its not a surprise - triple negative breast cancer is the most aggressive and that's one of the reasons why - the cancer cells are super freaky (cue the music). 

I think I mentioned in previous posts that they were also testing for the receptor status on the tumours to see if they might not be triple negative - rather that they had an estrogen (or progesterone) receptors - that means the tumour also feeds off of hormones. The bonus is that if it was, there are more treatment options after chemo and radiation. But, alas my tumours were triple negative, not a single estrogen receptor. Dr. Craig had told me that even if 10% of the tumour was estrogen positive that they would give me additional medication so I was keeping my fingers crossed but nope Dr. Caudrelier told me it was zero, not one little cell using hormones as its breakfast of champions. 

On a more positive note, I've been using my new gym membership pretty much daily - Goodlife is not making any money off of me! I've got a good routine going - getting up, going to gym, coming home and getting ready for radiation and then a trip to the dog park or errands. On Mondays, I also go to acupuncture with Tran and he continues to work on my cording, lecturing me about going to bed at 10 pm and helping to reduce my hot flashes. Last week I got needles on the bottom of my feet - it was crazy! Afterwards I checked my feet twice to make sure the needles were gone before I jumped off the bed. The OICC has a few new videos that I've posted on my Facebook page but I thought I'd also include them here. The first one is Dr. Craig talking about breast cancer prevention and the second one is Hippie Bruce talking about the benefits of acupuncture:

Dr. Craig 

Hippie Bruce 
 
I've also met a new cancer-friend! I know, I know I declared a few months ago that I did not want to be around people with cancer but I've made an exception for my new friend Preety. We met through our mutual friends Anne and Jordan and I must say, its really great to chat with someone who is going through a similar experience and also to give back a bit - with all of the help, cancer presents and good vibes I've gotten from all of you its nice to be able to pass that onto someone else. Don't worry its not all depressing, we have some good laughs too because if you can't laugh at things like cancer in your thirties - what else can you do? 

My Dad was also up for a visit so that kept me busy too. We did lots of things - visited the War Museum, went to a few brew pubs and just hung out. Its always nice to have someone visiting because it gives me someone to talk to especially in the mornings - other than the dogs of course. Dom took Monday off to hang out with us and we spent part of the afternoon at a pub watching soccer. 

You can tell I'm really interested taking photos in a pub. 

Oh and I am in the second phase of a breast cancer study - I did the first phase already that was a series of questionnaires and then they took blood and urine samples. The second phase is here at home - two really nice people from Health Canada came to my house and set up this machine in our bedroom that measures temperature, humidity and takes constant air samples. They also took swabs of my hands and did an inventory of my house - TVs, laptops and questions about how much we watch TV or are on our phones. Here's the air sampler in our bedroom:

 
And, it wouldn't be a blog without an update on Joan Lunden and my hair! Let's start with Joan - she's all finished her treatments and even got invited to a Breast Cancer Conference in Miami but here's what I do want to draw to your attention. I know I poke fun at JL but we really do lead parallel lives with this whole cancer thing and here is her last video blog during her treatment and I have to say, I couldn't have said it better myself - I have the same sort of thoughts and feelings right now. Joan Lunden's video

My hair continues to grow - in fact, I sort of have almost given up wearing my wigs because I've got a full head of hair and its getting longer every day. I didn't have the patchy spots grow like everyone said I would, its all very even - so I don't know if its my young age or my good genes (my Dad told me about all of the men on his side that have thick hair and he does too) but I'm lucky. So by the time I go back to work I don't think I'll be wearing a wig - besides if I do, eventually I'll stop and my hair will be really short anyway. The only downfall is that I have a lot of gray hair and the colour isn't great - sort of mousy - but I can't colour my hair for at least a year or two from now (one of the many things I have to confirm with Dr. Dent when I see her in March). Dom's mom told me I look younger but then Dom told her to put on her glasses so that she can see all of my gray hair - haha. All in all, I'm just glad I have hair again and that it seems just as thick, if not thicker than it was before. I still look exactly like Carol on the Walking Dead.

So that's it for this week - I hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine. In the words of Robin Williams: 

Spring is nature's way of saying 'Let's Party!'
 

Cancer Holidays Week 22 - 8 down, 20 more to go!

I've had 8 rounds of radiation which means I'm more than 25% done which is great! So far, its been pretty easy going. I haven't gotten a sunburn yet which I know is coming eventually and I haven't felt anymore tired than probably everybody else feels this time of year - I'm just waiting for it to get at least a little bit warmer so I can resume the daily trip to the dog park with Lola. 

I did forget to tell the story about my drain removal last month - I'll keep it short. This nurse named Andre came over and seriously, he could've been from the movie the Godfather. He showed up on my doorstep with dark sunglasses, wearing a leather jacket from 1985 and carrying a steel briefcase - the kind that you see in the movies that holds a gun with a silencer. He of course, had an accent too and was about 50 years old. Anyway turns out the briefcase held medical supplies and he pulled off the dark sunglass clips from his glasses and looked a bit more normal. So he took out what I thought was a stitch keeping my drain in place but it was more like a staple. He then said to take a deep breath and let it out as he pulled out the drain. It was good he took it out when he did because he said it was drying up (and it hurt when he pulled it out too). This is what it looked like:

The long white thing at the end is what was inside my body - gross. Interestingly, I saw the same drain on a 600 lb. lady on TLC while watching "My 600 lb Life" at the gym. I don't know why, but I find this show fascinating (and also sad) and it always seems to be on when I'm on the treadmill at the gym...anyway, this lady had to get drains in where her lymphnodes were and it looked just like this one!

Okay so gross part over, lets get back to this week. I took some photos of the radiation machine so that you can get a better idea of what it looks like. And before you wonder, no there are no laser beams or really anything that you can see with the human eye and I am not radioactive afterwards. In fact, the nurses don't even wear any protective clothing when they are in the room - but they do leave the room when the machine is zapping me and this big red light starts flashing once it all starts to warn people not to enter the room .

I lie down on the table and the round thing above me rotates to all of these different positions. Here's what it looks like if I'm looking at it when I'm lying down. 

Its covered in kid's stickers and the screen that you can see on it is the thing where the beams come from. So this thing rotates around me and lights up in certain spots which is the beam coming from it. It starts behind me because I do get a bit of radiation on the back of my shoulder - so I asked the other day if the radiation has to be stronger to get through the table to my shoulder but apparently the table is made up of this special carbon fibre stuff so the radiation goes straight through it. After my back is done it goes on an angle to my left - I asked about this because I'm getting radiation on the right, not the left - but the angle from the left is so that the radiation misses my right lung - so it sort of just brushes over my chest rather than being shot right above my right side. 

That's it for radiation - like I said, so far so good. I've gotten into a good routine of getting up, having breakfast, going to the gym, coming home to shower and then heading off to radiation. 

I continue to go to acupuncture and the cording has improved but with radiation it has sort of come back a bit - my massage therapist Meagan also said that she can tell my right side of my body is reacting to radiation because apparently its stiffer. But this all makes sense and just to refresh our memories, here is a great description of what radiation is from breastcancer.org:

Radiation therapy uses a special kind of high-energy beam to damage cancer cells. (Other types of energy beams include light and X-rays.) These high-energy beams, which are invisible to the human eye, damage a cell’s DNA, the material that cells use to divide.

Over time, the radiation damages cells that are in the path of its beam — normal cells as well as cancer cells. But radiation affects cancer cells more than normal cells. Cancer cells are very busy growing and multiplying — 2 activities that can be slowed or stopped by radiation damage. And because cancer cells are less organized than healthy cells, it's harder for them to repair the damage done by radiation. So cancer cells are more easily destroyed by radiation, while healthy, normal cells are better able to repair themselves and survive the treatment.

Dom told me last week that instead of looking like Sinead O'Connor I now look like Carol from The Walking Dead - and you know what? He's right, that's all I see now when I look in the mirror: 

 

This is exactly what I look like right now. If you watch The Walking Dead you'll know that Carol's hair has grown in quite a bit over the last few seasons and her hair looks super cute so I am hoping that mine will do the same. Seriously, I look exactly like her, the same mix of grey and brown hair, the pointy nose, the mouth...maybe next entry I'll post of picture of me for comparison, we'll see. 

Other than that, its been a good week - last weekend we had our annual curling banquet - its not a big banquet, its our curling team, past members of the team and our significant others but I like to call it the curling banquet because it sounds formal. Jordan made us all awards which was great! This is my award:

 

You might be wondering who Suzie Duford is and why I got her Leadership award. A few years ago when our team first started our friend Kalle was the Skip. Kalle always used one fo the club's brooms that said Suzie Duford on it - someone had written the name in black magic marker on the broom - assumingly this was Suzie Duford who did this. So after two years of being Skip, our team bought Kalle his own curling broom but knowing his fondness for Suzie Duford, we made sure that we wrote Suzie Duford's name on the broom before we gave it to him. We now call the broom Suzie Duford as if she is our team member and as Skip this year, I got to use Suzie Duford. And if after this story, you are wondering what Suzie Duford looks like or if she is even exists or is merely a legend, here is the real Suzie Duford:

 

At least we are pretty sure this is the real Suzie Duford - she's the only one we've been able to find in Ottawa thanks to Facebook so we can only assume that this is the legend. We considered sending her a message over Facebook to tell her this story and maybe invite her to our annual curling banquets but we were worried she would think we are a bit crazy since even though we don't know her she has become an integral part of our team.

And in case you are wondering what happened in the playoffs our teammate Jordan put together another fantastic recap, I'll leave you with the recap and I'll write again next week. Hopefully by next week, it'll be a bit warmer! 

Curling. Sport of Gods and Kings.

In Tuesday night’s playoff win, Strategic Incompetence played, despite its name, with strategic competence, poise and grace. Here’s how it happened:

End 1:

Playoffs. Sheet 5 was where the 9th and 10th (in a league of ten) would faceoff. Strategic Incompetence knew they were in tough against the .500 record Sheet Disturbers. After losing the coin toss and hammer, SI picked the blue rocks: colour of #winning. The early ice was tacky and difficult to read, causing both teams to misfire on several stones. Despite the near-frantic efforts of the sweepers, few rocks made the hogline. In the end, SD had a little more umph in their throws and sat 1.

Score: 1-0

End 2:

The TSN turning point. SI reshuffled their line-up and moved some players around. With a faster ice, SI was able to take it to the house like Trick Daddy (circa 2001). The only crack in their focus came when Kim (shooting 3rd) asked which colour we were. When told “blue” she collected a red stone and set up in the hack before being corrected (again)… Mel put the opponents out of their misery with a couple daggers. SD couldn’t keep up and team SI sat 3.

Score: 1-3

End 3:

Team SI used its depth to keep fresh, this time giving Anne a rest so she could collect her cider and wander the sidelines with it as if at a resort pool. They say curling is 99% a mental sport. In End 3, team SI started playing mind games with its adversaries. In an effort to show team camaraderie and confidence, Hieu and Kim didn’t even bother to sweep for Jordan as they sat on the sideline bench like two friends waiting for the bus. SD managed a meagre point.

Score: 2-3

End 4:

Icing an all ladies line-up was the best decision SI could have made. All four players threw perfect stones, culminating with Anne executing Mel’s Plan B to perfection. Adding to the good times of End 4, Jordan found a new broom with the moniker HAMMER marked on it. Someone else had added a “Noodle” sticker just above HAMMER... Meanwhile, the girls sat 4. Four!

Score: 2-7

End 5:

The push back from SD was expected. Team SI missed some shots while SD executed. An interesting trick play by which Kim subbed for Hieu mid-game didn’t help. Even the newly discovered HAMMER couldn’t make a difference, despite Mel’s cheers. SD picked up a pair of points. We’ve got ourselves a game, folks.

Score: 4-7

End 6:

The final end just came down to who wanted it more. Team SI attacked the house curling well-placed shots behind guards that could not be taken out by SD. As Mel skated down to take SI’s last 2 shots, SI was sitting 4 to SD’s 0. With only two red rocks yet to be thrown, arithmetic indicated that SI owned it. Still the two Skips battled it out with Mel securing 3 more points for SI. By the power of Suzie Duford – a playoff win!

Score: 4-10

Good season everyone. The 10 points scored in the last game almost matched our year-long points total. Certainly there was a clear improvement from game 1 through game 12. Looking forward to the Banquet!