This one will be a short one - just an update on where I'm at...
I had acupuncture with "Bruce" last week - as expected he is a hippie granola kind of guy (he has long hair but he had it in a french braid when I saw him, need I say more...). Anyway, he practices Japanese acupuncture (I didn't know there was such a thing). Its much more like acupressure - he poked around me a bit before inserting any needles. The coolest thing is that he sent me home with these bandaids that actually have tiny, tiny needles in them so that I can do my own acupuncture when I want to - so some of them are for these re-occurring hot flashes I still have from chemo, to make my tumour softer (it really works) and to help relax my neck muscles which are chronically tight from my previous spinal cord surgeries. Here's what they look like:
This is my calf - and the tumour acupuncture spot - in case you are wondering. Apparently they will stay on for about a week or so. Then I went to massage a few days later and my massage therapist Meagan lost her mind when she started the massage because she said there were areas where she has been working for years that released very easily and she credits this to Hippy Bruce's acupuncture. This has also been her response after I've had acupuncture with Tran too but so much more after Hippie Bruce's techniques. So I've got the next few months with Hippie Bruce since Tran is away until February so we'll see how it goes but so far, its weird and yet promising.
I also had an appointment with Dr. Craig as well as Dr. Beaulieu (surgeon). Dr. Craig was impressed with my resolve to stay on my diet and said I was doing pretty well if I feel guilty about eating a piece of toast or two at breakfast (I do eat a few carbs a day to try to put on some weight and actually feel full). Dr. Craig also changed all of my supplements - he said now that chemo is done, this was our opportunity to hit the cancer with as many supplements as we can before my surgery. I had quite a few general 'cancer questions' for him from the reading I had done in the past few months (by the way, if you want any recommendations on cancer books, I think I've read about 7 or 8 so let me know). As usual, Dr. Craig answered all of my questions very well and we left with a bag of new supplements and answers!
Then the same day we met with Dr. Beaulieu the surgeon. She was pleased with the effect that the chemo has had on my tumour (its about the size of a pea now - maybe 1 cm - it was 6 cm when I started chemo) but seemed a bit hesitant on what type of surgery because she wants to be sure that a lumpectomy is the correct choice. So, I have to have an MRI before surgery to confirm tumour size and location which means that I'm not 100% sure that it will be a lumpectomy but I'll know this before my surgery after my MRI.
Surgery is booked for January 13th (13 is my lucky number, no kidding). At first I was a bit disappointed that I wasn't able to have it earlier because January 13th is 5 weeks after my last chemo and the last doctor I saw at the Cancer Centre said they don't like to go past 5 weeks because they want to limit the opportunity for the tumour to grow back again. Also, I was feeling a bit apprehensive myself about this situation for the same reason but as you know, I keep track of this little tumour of mine measuring it everyday, so if it does seem to start growing again I'll know it! But after a few days of thinking about it, I decided that this is an opportunity to get back into shape and sort of do a little experiment on myself to see if these supplements that I take work (by 'work' I mean keep the tumour the same size or keep it shrinking). Wouldn't it be crazy if it shrunk the tumour!?! I bet everyone's minds would blow!
I just got home from an afternoon of bowling with my group and guess what? I won the prize for the worst bowler! Yes! I tried to claim that I had a handicap what with the cancer and all but it didn't really fly but it was fine with me because that meant I won a prize. This is what I won:
What is this you ask? Its a board that you can draw on with water and as it dries, it disappears. It is intended that you do art work on this board but I think it would be much more useful for Dom to put his complaints on it and I will read it later - haha.
A huge thank you to everyone to that has supported us these last three months, its not where I thought I'd be at this time in my life but I cannot complain with all of the love, support, positive vibes, emails, texts, phone calls, food and visits that you all have given us, its been very humbling.
And I think that's it - we are
staying around home for the Christmas - so Ottawa friends, we are
around if you want to hang out. Oh and thank you to everyone who has
sent us Christmas cards - I've been saving them to open on Christmas
day.
If you read my last blog I said there were no promises when it comes to Christmas cards and I have followed through on this - there are no Christmas cards because I tried to make one on Walmart's website a few weeks before Christmas, got really frustrated, then it looked like the resolution on the card was going to be bad so I only ordered one. Then Walmart did not live up to their 5-day promise so I just picked up the test card yesterday (the plan was to order one and if it looked okay to order a pile). So here is the card for everyone who is reading my blog - which is admittedly more people than I would have sent this card to, so in keeping with one of my favourite mantras 'it always works out in the end'. I don't need to say anything more, see you in 2015!
That's right, I'm using a hockey analogy to describe my cancer treatment - its impossible not to in the house that I live in.
For those of you who don't know, Dom is a huge Habs fan and despite this I am not a hockey "fan" - I don't mind it, I just don't really pay much attention to it -
but by sheer osmosis, here I am using a hockey game analogy on my blog of all places.
On a side note, a lot of you have been asking what happened to Dom's eye. No, he didn't get into a fight at the soccer game - Dom has to wear prescription goggles because he has this weird hang up with his eyes so he refuses to wear contacts (he also has weird hang ups about mice, ants...) and so he had some sort of collision with another player and got the ball in the eye - well more like on his goggles which gave him the black eye. If you ever want to gross Dom out just talk about something to do with your eyes and he'll get totally freaked out. My favourite thing to do is every once in awhile when I'm vacuuming, I ask Dom 'what do you think would happen if I put this close to my eye?' and he wilts like a fragile flower. So funny.
So Friday was a big day for me - the end of chemo and I got my PICC removed!
I arrived at chemo with my theme socks on ready to go:
Dom had me all tucked in - he called it a chemo cocoon.
I had a super nice chemo nurse, Cheryl - she was even nicer when I gave her a pile of dark chocolate and a card thanking her and all of the chemo nurses for making chemo seem "not that bad". On Thursday during our regular pre-chemo phone call, Becky, Courtney and I were wondering about the PICC removal...Anyway, chemo nurse Cheryl said the PICC removal was pretty quick as long as it doesn't get stuck - that sounds gross I know. So let's back up, the PICC looks like this:
The purple thing is what I've been walking around with for three months sticking out of my arm with an IV line that leads to the plastic T-thing and the green line that's under the clear bandaid. The clear bandaid is what they have been changing every week when I go for PICC cleaning. If you follow the green line around, you can see how it disappears into my skin - this is where it goes in my arm and takes a ride all the way to my heart - that's right, its about 35 cm long and goes all the way to my heart. If you can see the black dots on the green line, those are measurements of centimetres - that's how they tell if the PICC is in the right spot. If you remember I was complaining a few weeks ago about it being pulled out by the nurses that were cleaning my PICC and that's how we knew it was coming out - it started at 2 cm (2 dots) and by Friday it was at 5 cm (5 dots).
Anyway, coincidentally as I was getting chemo, the lady across the aisle from me was just finishing chemo and getting her PICC removed so I totally watched her get it out. Dom had just left to go get coffee so I frantically texted him to tell him that he was missing a live pre-view of a PICC removal. He made it back just in time to get a good look at what we were going to see done to me after chemo.
So, after chemo, chemo nurse Cheryl took my PICC out - we took a video - its gross so if you are squeemish at all and don't like blood, DO NOT WATCH THIS VIDEO. I don't want to get whiny comments after I post this blog from people saying they barfed a little bit in their mouth after they watched this. Its a quick video, in fact chemo nurse Cheryl said it was the fastest PICC removal she's ever done - she said "it was like butter." That's a direct quote.
Here's a link to the video if for some reason its blocked on your computer:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/5xnq73ymq51lv31/2014-12-12%2013.55.52.mp4?dl=0
Kidding! That was a test video - are you really sure you want to see this?? The end is the worst so here it is, the real thing:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/cdyvlr5ier9rett/2014-12-12%2013.58.47.mp4?dl=0
Isn't that gross?!? But I'm so glad its out. I had my first shower on Sunday (I've been sticking with baths since it was way too much work to shower and keep my arm dry). I feel like a new woman!
And here is the pièce de la résistance - when you are finished chemo they have a bell that you get to ring on the chemo ward and everyone claps. When I first heard about this I didn't think it was much of a big deal but after the past three months I have so been looking forward to reading this bell!! Here is the last video of the day - we missed the bell ringing on the video but the happy dance is definitely the best part of the video (in my humble opinion).
https://www.dropbox.com/s/8jpb3n3ms6t8gv8/2014-12-12%2014.05.22.mp4?dl=0
That's right at the end is a P.K. Subban move that he does when he scores a goal (remember I mentioned the hockey osmosis?) - I think its appropriate seeing as so far the score is Melanie 1; Cancer 0.
That's right, three days until my last chemo session and my PICC removal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was at the oncologist today - I saw a different one again, Dr. Dent wasn't there - but she was the best one yet! Very nice and I had a bunch of questions which she answered very comprehensively.
The best thing that happened this week is that I got the much anticipated cancer present from my friend Becky. Here it is:
This is no ordinary quilt - it has magical powers! No it doesn't - thats totally lame, do you think this blog is a kid's storybook?
The reason it isn't ordinary is because Becky made it herself and this is a big deal for a few reasons (people like Selma are reading this probably thinking it isn't a big deal at all but that's because people like Selma can sew a pair of pants blindfolded...):
- I don't think Becky is very crafty - or maybe she is but I've known her for more than 30 years and I wouldn't point to craftiness as a quality to describe her. And I don't think that's an insult, some people are, some people aren't. I'm not and I'm totally comfortable with my lack of craftiness.
- I didn't even know Becky owned a sewing machine or knew how to sew - you know why? Because apparently she has only used her sewing machine twice since grade 8! Do you know that means that in the past 25 years, Becky has sewn twice. Two times, that's it - and making this quilt is the #2 time. I don't know about you, but that's two more times than me (I also do not own a sewing machine and I don't foresee myself owning one unless I guess I inherit one or something like that...they sort of scare me actually). Anyway, so after only using her sewing machine one other time in 25 years she has managed to make an entire quilt just for me! Pretty friggin' awesome.
- For those of you that do not know Becky, she has a baby and a toddler at home so its not like she's got loads of time on her hands - and she has a dog, cat and a husband too!
So all in all, this is a great cancer present and if there was a competition - not that there is - but if there was a competition this one would win for the most blood, sweat and tears shed in creating a cancer present (according to Becky all three literally went into this quilt). What a fantastic gift!
So for the rest of the week....
It was a pretty quiet week - the usual stuff - acupuncture, massage etc. Dom had a show in Montreal on Saturday night and I went to my friend Erin's housewarming party with Andrew, Laurel and Jonah. Good times. We also got some pretty delicious meals from people this week too. Yummy.
On Sunday, Dom and I turned into Grinches. Dom brought in the Christmas trees from the garage to discover that the squirrels chewed the crap out of the boxes and also ate through the cord of the small Christmas tree that goes in the basement. So as Dom was swearing in the basement splicing wires, I was swearing upstairs as I struggled with Walmart's online Christmas card program (I promise no one a Christmas card this year). After all of the swearing we put up the tree - Fat May got right into it - waiting for Santa already.
On Sunday night I went over to Kersten's to help her make peanut butter balls for the City's United Way bake sale - so for those of you from work reading this, you had better buy some - those are peanut butter balls made by a cancer patient.
These are my share that I'm putting in the freezer until my cancer diet is over. Then I might just eat all of them at once.
On Monday I went to acupuncture and it was my last appointment with Tran until February *sigh* but it was okay. That shrieking lady was back again though for the first half of my appointment but luckily for me she left after Tran put in the pins and needles so the majority of my treatment was relaxing.
That's it! This is a short one because next week's might be long - there may be some special features and I'll wait until after my appointment with Dr. Craig and Dr. Beaulieau (surgeon) so I'll have lots of information about the upcoming months of these Cancer Holidays.
In the meantime, there's only 16 days until Christmas and I don't know about your house but for the past week we've had Magic FM on all of the time playing all-day and all-night Christmas music! I'm sure that Dom has only agreed to this because this cancer chick is insisting on it. Try it out - if you aren't in the Christmas spirit yet, you soon will be!
My 7th chemo was on Friday - can you believe how fast the time has gone by? It seems like my first one was sooo long ago (it was August 29).
My friend Ann took me this time which is great - remember these chemos are 5 hours so that's a big commitment! Also this meant that Dom didn't have to take any time off of work to take me which is another plus for us. Good thing she volunteered before she knew what time it was - it started at 8:00 am which means that I had to pick up Ann at 7:30 am to make sure we got to the Cancer Centre on time. I didn't sleep that great because I kept waking up checking the time worried that I'd be late - 8:00 am is the first time slot and I didn't want to mess up anyones day by being late. I don't think I've gotten up for anything that early in a while.
But let's back up. First thing on the agenda, breast cancer lesson recap. Two people asked me the same question about breast surgery and radiation so I'm sure there are more of you that have the same question - I obviously didn't explain it properly. For anyone not interested in this topic, stop reading and skip this section and move down to wear it says "breast cancer lesson over". The reason that there are limitations to breast reconstruction if you are having radiation is because right now, radiation is the last treatment that you get - sort of like a 'just in case' kind of thing. So most people get surgery first, then chemo (if necessary), then radiation. It varies for a lot of people depending on the cancer, how bad it is, where it is etc - for example I had chemo first, then will have surgery, then radiation. But the main point here is that radiation is almost always last. In fact, with all of my reading I haven't read a single circumstance where radiation isn't the last treatment. What is radiation exactly? Well I had to google it and here is a good explanation from the breastcancer.org website:
Radiation therapy uses a special kind of high-energy beam to damage
cancer cells. (Other types of energy beams include light and X-rays.)
These high-energy beams, which are invisible to the human eye, damage a
cell’s DNA, the material that cells use to divide.
Over time, the
radiation damages cells that are in the path of its beam — normal cells
as well as cancer cells. But radiation affects cancer cells more than
normal cells. Cancer cells are very busy growing and multiplying — 2
activities that can be slowed or stopped by radiation damage. And
because cancer cells are less organized than healthy cells, it's harder
for them to repair the damage done by radiation. So cancer cells are
more easily destroyed by radiation, while healthy, normal cells are
better able to repair themselves and survive the treatment.
There are two different ways to deliver radiation to the tissues to be treated:
- a machine called a linear accelerator that delivers radiation from outside the body
- pellets, or seeds, of material that give off radiation beams from inside the body
Tissues to be treated might include the breast area, lymph nodes, or another part of the body.
Honestly, I could not have explained this better myself - also this is the best website in my opinion - easy to read information and they post latest news and studies on breast cancer so if you know of anyone who is looking for a good website let them know about breastcancer.org
So back to our lesson, knowing what we know about radiation when it comes to reconstruction, you cannot get implants or natural tissue reconstruction before radiation because this process would damage your newly constructed boobs - either real or fake. So, this means that people who are getting surgery like a mastectomy (this also varies as to what is removed but basically it is the breast being removed) have to have this done first, then either chemo and radiation or just radiation (depending on the treatment plan) and you cannot have surgery until 6 months after radiation. So, if you are having a mastectomy you are looking at a minimum of 6 to 8 months until reconstruction and probably even longer when you think about treatment time, recovery time etc. When you wait this long, there isn't much to work with to reconstruct (nothing really) so there's a bunch of stuff that can be done to stretch the skin but you are basically starting with a flat, blank slate. Most of the innovations with breast reconstruction have happened when you are having the removal done at the same time as the reconstruction which is why for me, I am so hopeful that I can have a lumpectomy - that opens my options that much more for the future and gives me time to think about things. If I can get a lumpectomy now, I can look at doing something else (like mastectomy and reconstruction) later - like a year from now, if I think its a good idea. When you think about it, its sort of crazy that we haven't come up with something better in terms of options but its not like breasts are vital organs, you can live without them but for some people, not very happily - but that's a very individual thing. Make sense now? Hopefully it does.
Okay, breast cancer lesson is over.
On Wednesday I met some friends for lunch - we have a standing "pre-chemo" lunch date which is great because Wednesdays before chemo are also my last days before fasting begins so its nice to have a meal out somewhere on those days.
Thursday was my usual PICC cleaning and massage. Its also the day that I have a phone date with Courtney and Becky - we started this the first time I was having chemo - a 'pre-chemo' date, kind of like the pre-chemo lunch! We like it so much that we decided even after chemo we are going to keep up this tradition - we just have to come up with a different name for it because 'chemo phone call' doesn't have the best ring to it. Courtney and Becky are my oldest friends - I met Courtney when I was in grade 7 and I met Becky when I was in tiny tots (that was sort of like junior kindergarten back in the day) - that's a long time to be friends but well worth it.
Anyway, Friday went off without a hitch - chemo was normal, I slept for a bit then Ann and I managed to chat the rest of the time away. Oh and I found out that after my last chemo session in 10 days (not that I'm counting) the chemo nurse can take out my PICC line! This is so awesome - double bonus! The last day for chemo and I get my arm back - no more Glad Press n' Seal to wrap up my arm every time I want to shower!! Its the little things in life, really.
As usual, the steroids they gave me kept me up on Friday night so I had a restless night and was up early on Saturday after about 5 hours of sleep. On Saturday we took Fat May to get groomed at the Gatineau SPCA and ran some errands. Her bow lasted in her hair for one day which is longer than it normally does. This is not a flattering photo of Fat May but its the best I got before the bow disappeared.
On Saturday night a group of us had tickets to see Jenn Grant at the NAC so we met beforehand for dinner. I was feeling pretty much normal and with my fasting ending I was definitely looking forward to going out for dinner (nothing fancy, we went to a pub but it was good!). Here we are!
Looking at this photo afterwards convinced me of two things, well three - one, I have great Ottawa friends (and this is only a sample of my Ottawa friends). Two, I'm going to cut the last bit of hair I've got left and three, I'm going to start wearing my wigs. This new chemo has few side effects except that its been making what was left of my hair completely fall out. My hair was pretty much looking like this:
That's Gollum from Lord of the Rings and Rob Lowe from the new movie The Interview - I know I don't really look like either of these two but these are the two best comparisons that I could find - actually the Rob Lowe one was from a trailer that Dom showed me a few days ago where Rob Lowe takes off a wig and I was like "oh my god that's just what my hair looks like!"
And don't ask me to put a photo up of what my hair looks like - I'm no Joan Lunden and this blog is no People magazine so no, you will not see me without hair - unless of course you are with People magazine then we can talk.
When I got home Saturday night, I realized that I had forgotten to get Dom to give me my kryptonite shot - it has to be done 24 to 48 hours after chemo and it was late - it was about 11:30 pm on Saturday night which meant that I needed to have the shot by Sunday morning. I didn't want to wait until the next day because I knew I wouldn't sleep well because I would be worried we'd sleep in on Sunday morning. Dom was over at Andrew's for poker night so when he got home he had to wake me up and give me the shot. I don't know if it was because I was so tired or because Dom had had a few beers at the poker game or he's just getting better at giving needles - or the combination of all of these - but he did the best job so far. It sort of burns when I get the needle and the first time he gave it to me I bled. This time I hardly felt a thing.
Sunday was a lazy day for all of us - we all slept in, including the dogs. Dom put up the Christmas lights and went to soccer on Sunday night and came home with a black eye.
I put this photo in because he looks like a felon - I'm not sure what he was thinking when he took this selfie but he's probably thinking twice about me having access to the photos that he takes with his phone. Although usually there are only pictures of beer...
Here's a better one of him with the black eye but still looking extremely serious and unpleasant...
After soccer the felon cut my hair. At first he used an old set of clippers, that didn't work so well so then we switched to scissors to trim off the longer stuff and then migrated to his beard trimmer. Apparently, it was very difficult because my hair was like a baby's hair - very fine - also I think that its because he's a guy and every guy I know is super awkward with hair - even hair that's hardly there. Its as if they have never encountered hair in their lives, held a comb or brush or even know what it feels like to pick up a strand or two of hair. Anyway, we persevered. The weird thing is, I'm not bald my hair is just super thin - maybe everyone's is like that but my head isn't like - let's say my armpits which are completely bald. I don't think so though because I see people at the Cancer Centre and they are bald - totally bald and surely these people aren't getting out the straight razor and shaving their heads - are they? No, that would be crazy.
Its all very weird but all in all I don't mind the new haircut - my hair is about an inch or two long. Diana was right - when you get rid of your hair, you are all face - but more so than just pulling back your hair in a ponytail. I don't know how to describe it but its different - and I figured out that my ears aren't nearly as big as I thought they were and neither is my forehead - you see, I have a nice tan line where my forehead begins - oh and I also have one where my part is, its weird. Anyway, all in all I don't mind the lack of hair.
Yesterday I went to acupuncture - as Tran was leaving the room (after he put in the pins and needles) he said not to be scared but the woman in the next room was probably going to scream (yes, he said scream) while she was getting her treatment. I wasn't sure if he was joking or not but he wasn't...sure enough after about five minutes I could hear this woman shrieking in the next room - and not just once, repeatedly. After about 15 minutes Tran popped his head back in to check in on me and asked me if I was scared - I told him I was a little bit and afterwards when he came in to take out the needles and work on my back I asked him about the shrieking. Apparently it was some sort of massage technique, not acupuncture (phew) and that the woman was suffering from something that prevented her from walking but after her Tran-massage she could walk again. I don't know anymore details than that but honestly, I don't want to know and I'm never getting a massage from Tran.
I skipped curling last night - I mean I didn't go, not that I was the "skip". I was pretty tired and I didn't want to overdue it, plus Tran reminded me that I have to work on my bedtime. Also we went out for dinner with Dom's parents for his Dad's 65th birthday! AND we also went to Costco to get our freezer (our Christmas present from Dom's parents). This was also the first day of wearing my wig out in public. It wasn't too bad although it sort of gets uncomfortable to wear with my glasses because the wig squeezes my glasses against my head - good thing I've got four different pairs of glasses to work with! Dom's mom liked it so much she wants to get one for her bad hair days. I told her she could have mine when I'm done with them. That's it - here we are at dinner with the wig-debut.
