My friend Ann took me this time which is great - remember these chemos are 5 hours so that's a big commitment! Also this meant that Dom didn't have to take any time off of work to take me which is another plus for us. Good thing she volunteered before she knew what time it was - it started at 8:00 am which means that I had to pick up Ann at 7:30 am to make sure we got to the Cancer Centre on time. I didn't sleep that great because I kept waking up checking the time worried that I'd be late - 8:00 am is the first time slot and I didn't want to mess up anyones day by being late. I don't think I've gotten up for anything that early in a while.
But let's back up. First thing on the agenda, breast cancer lesson recap. Two people asked me the same question about breast surgery and radiation so I'm sure there are more of you that have the same question - I obviously didn't explain it properly. For anyone not interested in this topic, stop reading and skip this section and move down to wear it says "breast cancer lesson over". The reason that there are limitations to breast reconstruction if you are having radiation is because right now, radiation is the last treatment that you get - sort of like a 'just in case' kind of thing. So most people get surgery first, then chemo (if necessary), then radiation. It varies for a lot of people depending on the cancer, how bad it is, where it is etc - for example I had chemo first, then will have surgery, then radiation. But the main point here is that radiation is almost always last. In fact, with all of my reading I haven't read a single circumstance where radiation isn't the last treatment. What is radiation exactly? Well I had to google it and here is a good explanation from the breastcancer.org website:
Radiation therapy uses a special kind of high-energy beam to damage cancer cells. (Other types of energy beams include light and X-rays.) These high-energy beams, which are invisible to the human eye, damage a cell’s DNA, the material that cells use to divide.
Over time, the radiation damages cells that are in the path of its beam — normal cells as well as cancer cells. But radiation affects cancer cells more than normal cells. Cancer cells are very busy growing and multiplying — 2 activities that can be slowed or stopped by radiation damage. And because cancer cells are less organized than healthy cells, it's harder for them to repair the damage done by radiation. So cancer cells are more easily destroyed by radiation, while healthy, normal cells are better able to repair themselves and survive the treatment.
There are two different ways to deliver radiation to the tissues to be treated:
- a machine called a linear accelerator that delivers radiation from outside the body
- pellets, or seeds, of material that give off radiation beams from inside the body
Honestly, I could not have explained this better myself - also this is the best website in my opinion - easy to read information and they post latest news and studies on breast cancer so if you know of anyone who is looking for a good website let them know about breastcancer.org
So back to our lesson, knowing what we know about radiation when it comes to reconstruction, you cannot get implants or natural tissue reconstruction before radiation because this process would damage your newly constructed boobs - either real or fake. So, this means that people who are getting surgery like a mastectomy (this also varies as to what is removed but basically it is the breast being removed) have to have this done first, then either chemo and radiation or just radiation (depending on the treatment plan) and you cannot have surgery until 6 months after radiation. So, if you are having a mastectomy you are looking at a minimum of 6 to 8 months until reconstruction and probably even longer when you think about treatment time, recovery time etc. When you wait this long, there isn't much to work with to reconstruct (nothing really) so there's a bunch of stuff that can be done to stretch the skin but you are basically starting with a flat, blank slate. Most of the innovations with breast reconstruction have happened when you are having the removal done at the same time as the reconstruction which is why for me, I am so hopeful that I can have a lumpectomy - that opens my options that much more for the future and gives me time to think about things. If I can get a lumpectomy now, I can look at doing something else (like mastectomy and reconstruction) later - like a year from now, if I think its a good idea. When you think about it, its sort of crazy that we haven't come up with something better in terms of options but its not like breasts are vital organs, you can live without them but for some people, not very happily - but that's a very individual thing. Make sense now? Hopefully it does.
Okay, breast cancer lesson is over.
On Wednesday I met some friends for lunch - we have a standing "pre-chemo" lunch date which is great because Wednesdays before chemo are also my last days before fasting begins so its nice to have a meal out somewhere on those days.
Thursday was my usual PICC cleaning and massage. Its also the day that I have a phone date with Courtney and Becky - we started this the first time I was having chemo - a 'pre-chemo' date, kind of like the pre-chemo lunch! We like it so much that we decided even after chemo we are going to keep up this tradition - we just have to come up with a different name for it because 'chemo phone call' doesn't have the best ring to it. Courtney and Becky are my oldest friends - I met Courtney when I was in grade 7 and I met Becky when I was in tiny tots (that was sort of like junior kindergarten back in the day) - that's a long time to be friends but well worth it.
Anyway, Friday went off without a hitch - chemo was normal, I slept for a bit then Ann and I managed to chat the rest of the time away. Oh and I found out that after my last chemo session in 10 days (not that I'm counting) the chemo nurse can take out my PICC line! This is so awesome - double bonus! The last day for chemo and I get my arm back - no more Glad Press n' Seal to wrap up my arm every time I want to shower!! Its the little things in life, really.
As usual, the steroids they gave me kept me up on Friday night so I had a restless night and was up early on Saturday after about 5 hours of sleep. On Saturday we took Fat May to get groomed at the Gatineau SPCA and ran some errands. Her bow lasted in her hair for one day which is longer than it normally does. This is not a flattering photo of Fat May but its the best I got before the bow disappeared.
That's Gollum from Lord of the Rings and Rob Lowe from the new movie The Interview - I know I don't really look like either of these two but these are the two best comparisons that I could find - actually the Rob Lowe one was from a trailer that Dom showed me a few days ago where Rob Lowe takes off a wig and I was like "oh my god that's just what my hair looks like!"
And don't ask me to put a photo up of what my hair looks like - I'm no Joan Lunden and this blog is no People magazine so no, you will not see me without hair - unless of course you are with People magazine then we can talk.
When I got home Saturday night, I realized that I had forgotten to get Dom to give me my kryptonite shot - it has to be done 24 to 48 hours after chemo and it was late - it was about 11:30 pm on Saturday night which meant that I needed to have the shot by Sunday morning. I didn't want to wait until the next day because I knew I wouldn't sleep well because I would be worried we'd sleep in on Sunday morning. Dom was over at Andrew's for poker night so when he got home he had to wake me up and give me the shot. I don't know if it was because I was so tired or because Dom had had a few beers at the poker game or he's just getting better at giving needles - or the combination of all of these - but he did the best job so far. It sort of burns when I get the needle and the first time he gave it to me I bled. This time I hardly felt a thing.
Sunday was a lazy day for all of us - we all slept in, including the dogs. Dom put up the Christmas lights and went to soccer on Sunday night and came home with a black eye.
Here's a better one of him with the black eye but still looking extremely serious and unpleasant...
After soccer the felon cut my hair. At first he used an old set of clippers, that didn't work so well so then we switched to scissors to trim off the longer stuff and then migrated to his beard trimmer. Apparently, it was very difficult because my hair was like a baby's hair - very fine - also I think that its because he's a guy and every guy I know is super awkward with hair - even hair that's hardly there. Its as if they have never encountered hair in their lives, held a comb or brush or even know what it feels like to pick up a strand or two of hair. Anyway, we persevered. The weird thing is, I'm not bald my hair is just super thin - maybe everyone's is like that but my head isn't like - let's say my armpits which are completely bald. I don't think so though because I see people at the Cancer Centre and they are bald - totally bald and surely these people aren't getting out the straight razor and shaving their heads - are they? No, that would be crazy.
Its all very weird but all in all I don't mind the new haircut - my hair is about an inch or two long. Diana was right - when you get rid of your hair, you are all face - but more so than just pulling back your hair in a ponytail. I don't know how to describe it but its different - and I figured out that my ears aren't nearly as big as I thought they were and neither is my forehead - you see, I have a nice tan line where my forehead begins - oh and I also have one where my part is, its weird. Anyway, all in all I don't mind the lack of hair.
Yesterday I went to acupuncture - as Tran was leaving the room (after he put in the pins and needles) he said not to be scared but the woman in the next room was probably going to scream (yes, he said scream) while she was getting her treatment. I wasn't sure if he was joking or not but he wasn't...sure enough after about five minutes I could hear this woman shrieking in the next room - and not just once, repeatedly. After about 15 minutes Tran popped his head back in to check in on me and asked me if I was scared - I told him I was a little bit and afterwards when he came in to take out the needles and work on my back I asked him about the shrieking. Apparently it was some sort of massage technique, not acupuncture (phew) and that the woman was suffering from something that prevented her from walking but after her Tran-massage she could walk again. I don't know anymore details than that but honestly, I don't want to know and I'm never getting a massage from Tran.
I skipped curling last night - I mean I didn't go, not that I was the "skip". I was pretty tired and I didn't want to overdue it, plus Tran reminded me that I have to work on my bedtime. Also we went out for dinner with Dom's parents for his Dad's 65th birthday! AND we also went to Costco to get our freezer (our Christmas present from Dom's parents). This was also the first day of wearing my wig out in public. It wasn't too bad although it sort of gets uncomfortable to wear with my glasses because the wig squeezes my glasses against my head - good thing I've got four different pairs of glasses to work with! Dom's mom liked it so much she wants to get one for her bad hair days. I told her she could have mine when I'm done with them. That's it - here we are at dinner with the wig-debut.
