So far, it is going really well. I've had my first two boosters and have four more to go. This just means that I'm getting radiation in a more of a focused area - around where my tumour used to be. The radiation machine makes a few different noises too but I'm not sure what that is. I mentioned it to Lyann today (one of the nurses) and she said she didn't know either - since they aren't in the room, they can't hear the machine. She did assure me that they test the machine everday so its not broken or anything like that (phew). I am continuing to work on my tan - kidding - working on my sunburn. Imagine someone going to a topless beach for the first time except they've only got half of their shirt off - that's what I look like right now. You can clearly see the red line in the middle of my chest. It doesn't really hurt - my skin is a bit tender, just like when you get a burn but I've had much worse. I had my last appointment with Dr. Caudrelier today - I won't see him again for six months. He thought I was doing well and didn't see a need to prescribe me any special cream for my chest. I do use one that they recommended twice a day but its just this cream off the shelf at the drugstore - nothing special - except that its only got about six ingredients which is way less than most moisturizing cream. In fact, Lyann says she uses it and uses it on her kids too. In case you are wondering, its called Glaxal.
Other than that, I see Dr. Craig (naturopathic doctor) and Dr. Dent (oncologist) next week to find out what's next so stay tuned and I'll let you know what's what.
Oh one new thing is that I joined a new study for people who have recently finished treatment for breast cancer - its for group therapy - there was a choice between individual therapy or group therapy but after a bit of thought I chose group therapy. I know, I know I'm breaking that rule again about hanging out with people who have cancer but technically these people are like me and don't really have cancer anymore. The study is to look at different techniques of therapy to help people with the 'fear of recurrence.' I figured this was something good to do for myself because as the radiation countdown number on the chalkboard in the kitchen gets smaller my anxiety gets greater - basically just about not going to the hospital on a regular basis, what I do when this is all over - all of the things that Joan Lunden talked about in her video that I posted in my last post. The therapy will run for six weeks so I'm looking forward to it and they have counselling services at the Cancer Centre that I can also take advantage of if I think I might need it.
I'm still going to the gym everyday - some days I really giv'er but other days I take it easy. Its very important for me to keep up on the exercise because its hugely influential on the chances of recurrence - Dr. Craig tells me everytime I see him that exercise can reduce my chance of recurrence by 40 to 60% - that's a lot. Just for a little more incentive to go to the gym I posted this article that I got from my Uncle Rick back in the fall right above the gym's class schedule as a reminder and motivator. Here's what it looks like:
How's that for a segway? Let's get to my hair. It continues to grow and I am at the point that I just don't wear my wigs anymore. Actually some lady today at the grocery store said she loved my haircut! I told her thank you without going into any detail. So, without further ado here is my new hair:
Okay back to me and my hair - how much do you love my hair? I always thought that I had a big forehead - but this proves that I don't. I also am surprised at how well I can pull off this super short hair, I never would have thought...but I do hate how gray it is. Its really gray and I'm not a fan of the colour but oh well, better than a bald head I guess.
Some folks have asked if I am going to keep it short but its too early to say. Despite this I know that it will be short no matter what I do for at least the next year or so. Its going to take a while to get back to this:
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The past week and a half I've basically kept the same schedule, gym, radiation, chores, massage, acupuncture and errands (repeat) - a few Sundays ago we went to Mary Ellen and Rob's for Sunday dinner which was great and last night we were at Andrew and Laurel's for dinner. Delicious pork tenderloin and as usual, entertainment from little Jonah and Cosmo the dog. Jonah does this funny 'angry baby' thing - he's been doing it for a while now but loves doing it to Dom because Dom gives him such a dramatic reaction to it. I couldn't resist posting a video of Jonah and his 'angry baby' impersonation that he was doing at our Curling Banquet last month:
As you can hear, we are all very entertained by Jonah and his 'angry baby.'
We decided that we are going to go out for dinner on Monday night next week to celebrate the end of my radiation. Andrew asked me last night where we are going to go and I told him I don't care, all I want is a huge plate of nachos and a giant glass of red wine. So today Dom took the initiative to investigate where the best nachos are in Ottawa (he even asked the question on an Ottawa Senators message board) and here are the results (in case you are in need of great nachos one night):
Restaurant
|
Style of nachos
|
Where
|
Urbanspoon score
|
Big Rig
|
N/A
|
2750 Iris St
|
61%
|
Mill Street
|
N/A
|
555 Wellington St
|
68%
|
Senate
|
N/A
|
33 Clarence St
|
90%
|
Lone Star
|
N/A
|
1211 Lemieux St
|
76%
|
Pub Italia
|
N/A
|
434 Preston St
|
75%
|
Bowman's Bar & Grill
|
One layer authentic style
|
1170 Carling Ave
|
86%
|
Agave
|
One layer authentic style
|
1331 Wellington West
|
86%
|
Sir John A
|
N/A
|
284 Elgin St
|
80%
|
Quinn’s
|
N/A
|
1070 Bank St
|
94%
|
El Camino
|
N/A
|
380 Elgin St
|
85%
|
Monkey Joe's
|
Pile up of nacho stuff
|
1265 Carling Ave
|
60%
|
Local Lansdowne
|
N/A
|
825 Exhibition Way
|
75%
|
Ahora’s
|
N/A
|
307 Dalhousie St
|
90%
|
A few of you have asked about a wedding date so I'll answer the question here too, no we do not have a wedding date. We actually haven't thought about it much - we need to pay off our cancer debt first. Yes, the cancer debt - and no I'm not hinting for money so don't start sending me cheques but we have accumulated some debt with this whole cancer thing. Don't get me wrong, we weren't paying for chemo or any of the standard cancer treatments but I did go down to a reduced pay for two months before my disability kicked in (the reduced pay is sort of like the City's own short term disability) and our benefits cover some of the expenses from massage, acupuncture and naturopathic doctor but that runs out pretty fast when you are having massage and acupuncture once a week. Plus, the cost of the supplements that I've been taking for the last 8 months are not cheap. So all of this explanation is just me explaining that when you get sick with something serious that is long term, it is expensive no matter how good your benefits are and I am a lucky one who has good benefits and also has a partner in crime that has benefits and a decent paying job. Plus our foundation repairs, window well repairs and new furnace didn't help the bank account this past fall. So all in all, I can see how someone who isn't as lucky as me can really accumulate debt when you get sick.
So no wedding until the cancer debt is paid off but also no wedding until I've managed to get back to regular life again. I figure we'll start planning something when I've gotten bored of regular life. Right now, I feel like I am embarking on another big transition - going from cancer patient back to regular Melanie except that I am not the same as I was before but not quite sure how I am different... You know you hear, read and see a lot about cancer being the 'best thing' that happens to a person and people who are survivors and are really proud of having beaten the disease but I don't feel like that - at least not yet. I don't think cancer was the best thing that has happened to me, in fact with my two previous spinal cord surgeries I feel like I already had a good appreciation for my good health, the fact that I didn't have any major side effects or complications from those surgeries like being paralyzed or something devastating like that. I also already really appreciated the people around me - Dom, my parents and family, my friends - I didn't need cancer to remind me that I was a lucky person. So while some people say that cancer opened their eyes to this, it didn't for me - maybe it made those elements of my life a bit brighter but as my Dad said when he was down, 'I thought you were done with health stuff after your last [spinal cord] surgery' - my thoughts exactly.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter nor am I complaining. In fact, I don't feel like 'why me' and I never really did - I just don't feel like this cancer thing was something that if I could turn back the clock I would do again - nope, if I could turn the clock back to August 13th I would not go to the doctor the next day to find out I had cancer. But here I am with no ability to turn the clock back (if you know how to do this, let me in on the secret) and just plugging along with life.
Its hard to believe its almost been 8 months since I started treatment and in May it'll be a year since I found the tumour. When I think of it like that, it doesn't seem too bad seeing as I plan living until I am at least 95, just like Nanny Knight - one year is nothing compared to the next 58 years I've got to go!
And since we are talking about looking forward to the future, I am really, really looking forward to Easter weekend - we are going home (what I call home, Ingersoll) to spend Easter with the Finks (my mom's side of the family), my Dad and Linda, my friends Laurel and Brian, Becky and Erin and we'll visit with Nanny Knight too! I cannot wait to see everyone because it has been way too long and I have gotten so many great emails, text messages and phone calls from my family I just don't know what I would have done without them through all of this. I am a lucky gal when it comes to these people - no one could ask for a better family and close friends. Just take a look at the side bar on this blog and they are all there - I love all of them!
So happy spring - if we can actually call this spring - but spring will come just like it always does and before you know it, it will be summer and we'll complain that its too hot!
