Every birthday I do always take some time to think about what has gone on in the past year and I always wonder where I will be next year. Let's start with reflections of the past year - last year Dom and I bought our house and we moved at the end of September. It was a great time in our lives, we love our house, our neighbourhood and we soon settled into a very easy going life. For my birthday last year, I can't actually remember what we did - Dom and I just searched Facebook in an attempt to remember what we did...but alas, we cannot figure it out - is this a sign that we are old?? I'm sure we probably went out for dinner with Dom's parents because we do that for all of our birthdays. All I know is that this is what I posted on Facebook on my birthday.
We spent the Fall getting settled in the new house - we were the hit of the street with our Hallowe'en decorations. We had over 400 trick or treaters.
I also remember coming home one really cold winter night to find Dom freezing his arse off trying to hang up Christmas lights across the front of the house to only plug them in and have only 1/4 of them work (can you say Griswalds?).
In January, we had a disastrous holiday in Cuba - it ended up being a long weekend in Cuba (instead of a week) with me getting food poisoning (or something equally awful) and Dom having severe allergic reactions before and after the trip from his immunizations. Doesn't it look nice? Yeah, it was a disaster.
We spent the majority of our time in the Winter hunkering down in the basement with the woodstove, keeping warm (and trying to save money on our oil bills), watching hockey games and hanging out with friends. Dom spent a lot of time shovelling snow which allowed him the opportunity to get to know our neighbour Frank too.
Remember this?
We also got our custom order couch for the basement!
Spring came very slowly...
We also had many trips to the cottage with Drew and Narissa, Devin, Sam, Dad, Linda, Mom and Bill, Uncle Terry and Aunt Ellen. In fact, we had the best summer vacation that we have had in years at the cottage with family and my good friends Laurel and Brian; Trevor and Leanna and their girls Della and Maisie.
We then came home to find out that I have breast cancer! But when you see what a good year it was, the breast cancer is a blip in this year - there were so many good things about this year that outweigh the breast cancer diagnosis I have to say it hasn't been a complete bust!
I can say with certainty that never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be sitting on the couch with hardly any hair, in the middle of chemo treatments writing a blog about having breast cancer with my 37th birthday around the corner. This is the way life works though, we cannot predict what will happen to us, we can only accept it, deal with it and keep putting one foot in front of the other!
Now getting down to the details of this past week - I had acupuncture a week ago on Wednesday - this time it was a bit different, Tran did the usual pins and needles on my arms and legs but added one right in between my eyes - that's right - in between my eyebrows. It didn't feel bad at all surprisingly. Tran also decided that he wants to try to improve my lack of feeling in my hands from my previous spinal cord problems - I told him if he can do anything it'd be a miracle. He asked me if I wanted to bet! I said yeah although we didn't actually wager anything. Anyway, this meant getting the pins and needles up and down my back - it was pretty cool although so far, I haven't yet to feel any different. We also talked about my swellling lymph nodes - he calls it "visitor pain" and said that it is the Chi (energy) getting stuck in certain spots in my body but that acupuncture will help with this - so far it has.
Thursday was the usual standing appointments of massage and PICC cleaning (gross) but my energy level was good and I was up early doing yoga again. Fasting was more difficult this time as my appetite was really good - when I went to acupuncture I told Tran about my fasting and asked him to not make me hungry. He said he wouldn't but I guess maybe its because acupuncture just makes you feel better overall, your appetite is better.
On Friday I had chemo. My friend Ann offered to take me again so I took her up on the offer. I went to the hospital to get my chemo entry exam (blood test) then headed to pick up Ann and return for chemo. This was probably the best chemo in terms of lack of side effects. We were home mid-afternoon and as long as I kept up on the gravol I was okay. I also had to cheat a bit on the fasting with soda crackers and that also kept me feeling good. On Saturday I was up really early - like 5:00 am - I blame the steroids I have to take for three days (starting chemo day and two days afterwards) - they keep me hopping. So, I got up and watched TV and read all day. Even though I felt fine, I always take it easy the day after chemo so that I don't wear myself out - my appetite was good too which was nice so I started right back to eating after fasting was over.
Sunday was a repeat of Saturday - up early and not tired. Our friends Andrew and Laurel invited us to go to a pumpkin patch on Sunday afternoon and since I was feeling good we went. It was freezing though - seriously, I think it was maybe 5 degrees and super windy. Needless to say, we didn't stay long but we did get a few pumpkins for the front porch and the required picture in a pumpkin patch:
Here's Andrew and Laurel with baby Jonah:
Can you tell we are all freezing!?!
We also met friends of Andrew and Laurel who live just one street from us and we all ended the day in a warm pub enjoying a late lunch - I cheated on my diet and had breaded fish (the cheating is the batter) so shhh don't tell Joan Lunden, she'll be disappointed again. It turned out to be a great day!
Monday was a quiet day for me but I was up and at 'em again early so I did some yoga and then read for a bit. I had that really bad taste in my mouth from chemo again so I called and managed to get in to see Tran on Monday morning. I had acupuncture again although Tran did warn me that the bad taste in my mouth won't disappear as quickly as before *sigh* but I was still glad that I got in to see him. Tuesday seems to be the day that I crash after chemo - most likely because the steroids I take seem to keep me hopped up and so when I stop taking them my body just deflates - at least thats what it feels like. So Tuesday was a couch potato day - I had a great visit from Cheryl, Rose and Selma from work at noon which was the perfect break to an otherwise quiet day. Rose brought food and a nice care package from Guylaine at work - thank you both!
Wednesday I felt better, I took both dogs for a walk and tried to do a few things off of the 'to-do' list while of course watching what was going on downtown Ottawa - okay, I was glued to the TV. I woke up Wednesday morning just before 10:00 am and was sort of slowly waking up to hearing a newscast about a shooting at the War Memorial and I kept thinking they must mean some other War Memorial. I got up and turned on the TV and immediately texted Dom - he was at the dentist so I didn't hear back from him for a while so I remained in front of the TV. Dom ended up being in lockdown for the day and I did take breaks (dog walks) from the constant TV watching.
I don't have much to say about it that's probably different than what everyone else is thinking and feeling. I feel terrible about it, I shed a few tears throughout the day watching the coverage...Unfortunately, we never know what the day is going to bring, we can only cherish the moments we have and the people we are with. I think its easy to get distracted and forget about how great life really is - it happens to everyone - even me, even now - but I have less of those moments now for the obvious reasons. For me, everyday is not a bad day but a good day - sure I have a lot to tackle but life is a bit sweeter for me - listening to Dom ramble on about some kind of new beer or new album is somewhat more interesting - chatting with my parents, hanging with my family and friends, thinking about what I am going to do next year on my 38th birthday is so much sweeter than it ever was before. This weekend Narissa, Drew and Lindsay will be up for a visit and I already know its going to be a great time.
Try to remember that feeling when you're rushing around, stressed about some work thing or just having a bad day - there is sweetness in life everyday, we just have to make sure we don't forget to taste it!
