Its hard to believe but one year ago today I found out I had cancer. I'll never forget that day - sitting in the doctor's office by myself thinking there was nothing wrong with me like everyone had told me over the previous few months of exams and testing. And the look on my surgeon's face when she reviewed my file with me getting to the end where the pathology report was...So one year. A lot has happened in one short year - chemo, surgery, radiation, endless doctor appointments, cancer diets and good stuff too - engagement, birthdays, Christmas and another summer at the cottage. Hard to believe that's all been done in one year.
Like everyone, my summer feels like it has gone quickly but we just got back from two weeks at the cottage and Dom said it felt like we were gone a month - I agree, it did. We spent the first weekend of our holidays at Uncle Rick and Sharon's for the Fink summer get together - it was great to see everyone and while the group was smaller this year, I didn't mind because it gave us time to properly visit with each other. At the cottage Leanna, Trevor, Della and Maisie came up for a week and our friends Laurel and Brian joined us for a few days too. We spent the days hanging out on the dock, canoeing, boating, a bit of fishing, paddle boarding (or if you're Della doing gymnastics on the paddle board), doing a few day trips, rollerskating (that's right!) and just relaxing. I feel as though I've really tackled the fatigue hurdle - maybe I just needed some time away to relax.
Here are some of my favourite photos of our time at the cottage:
Wiarton Wednesdays when ice cream is only $1 a scoop!
Beachcombers!
Paddle boarding - and multi-use boarding
Dom's favourite soccer team (and now Maisie's too).
Rollerskating video (except Dom was the only one on roller blades which is why he looks like he's faster than everyone else - except for the expert roller skating couple that were the only other people there).
Dom's cool birthday cake!
Second last day - I spent the entire afternoon doing this (Lola too).
And this is how we spent one of our last nights at the cottage - only in Sauble Beach can a headliner of their Sand Fest be a Bon Jovi cover band - Bon Jovi Forever!
Now we're off to North Bay for the weekend to visit my cousin Carlie and Brian (its her 30th birthday today!) and next week I'm going to Bancroft to see some more of the Fink family at a cottage. I'm trying to make the most of the rest of the summer as I think I'll be back to work in September on a gradual basis, slowly working my way back to full time. I keep reminding myself that change is constant but progress is optional. I choose progress. For those people who don't figure this out through life they somehow don't appreciate their lives like others do and miss out on the lessons learned.
So the cancer holidays are coming to an end I guess. Not that this cancer thing is over for me, I still have check ups at the doctor every three months (I've got one coming up in September actually) and I do still worry about cancer coming back and think about it frequently. I don't think that feeling will ever really go away - I think about it when I hear about other people newly diagnosed with cancer, when I see my own scars and weird things remind me in unexpected ways - like the other day I used some bath salts that I must've used while I was on chemo and for two days everytime I went into the bathroom I could smell the bath salts and it made me feel nauseous. Its amazing what the body and subconscious mind remember.
I've got a friend who recently found out that her cancer has spread (metastasized) to other parts of her body, her name is Jaclyn - I've mentioned her in a previous post. I met her through the Facebook group that I'm part of and we're both from Southern Ontario and have a connection through one of my friends. Jaclyn was only a few months behind me in treatment - so her cancer holidays have now gotten an extension. Just goes to show you that cancer doesn't discriminate. I know she'll get through this, just like she got through her first round of treatment. Plus, she's got a great attitude and outlook towards life and I think that's the biggest lesson I've learned during this past year. It doesn't matter what happens in life, its how you deal with it. Attitude is everything. Accepting help and love from others is not far behind. So while you are reading this, send my friend Jaclyn some positive vibes - just say her name under your breath with a smile, she needs it right now.
My advice to all of you is be the reed in the wind - you might not think you are the strongest out there in the world but you are, if you don't break during the big storms - its better than being the oak tree who can handle the little breezes in life but when the big storm comes, down you go. Its a good lesson in life.
I don't know if this will be my last post but it might be - we'll see.
Thanks for joining me this past year, words cannot express my appreciation for the love, positive thoughts, emails, cards, food, phone calls, visits and of course cancer presents that I received this past year. A special thanks to Dom who stood by me through the barfing, hair loss and regrowth, fatigue, surgery drain (gross) and general bitchiness. I couldn't have a better partner. You made all the difference in the world to me and I'm glad you could join me on these holidays - although next time let's go to Barbados!
